"Rants of a fangirl"

yep I'm just making a post because there are some friends on here I havn't talk to in a while,so send me a reply XD.

I really don't care about everything these days,in the back of my head I kinda wish that my dad killed me like he said he would.I just hate this world around me and would rather ask for death.I've done bad things in my life,i throw away the only people that I loved and it hunts me every night in my dreams,it's me apart to see them and i vomit a bit in my mouth.

My back feels like it's going to break,with every move I make.I've been sick for weeks,first my mind and now my body's going along with it.I've only been able to find happiness in cleaning.It helps me relax and to stay out of trouble,it never works.My family thinks that it's all in my head and I'm starting to think that it's true.

Today fells like the day I should die.I wronged a friend when they didn't even care that I was their.From the moment they came in with there guest I felt uneasy.The day just got worse,my friend ignored me when I haven't seen them in a week,while there guest acted like he owned my home!He raids my fridge,touches me and my brother,sits at my step dad's desk,and never asked if he could at all!in fact he re mined me of the one guy that hate.And when I told him to stop he kept going,and when I told my friend of some of what happened he just justify it.

I really don't like men,and never will like them.They fell like they can do whatever they want to me.

Well right now i fell like blowing my brains out and letting the blood spill on the carpet and just let my mind be free and wonder.life these day's really feels fake to me,I'll either end up killing myself or some one that once knew a long time ago.

Well I'm feeling like shit.

So here's the crap that's going on in my life:

-Still hate Tiff

-Almost beat up mell,but instead had a break down and two of my friends thought I punched Tonny-_-

-But I did yell at the two bitches from his car

-Almost did the poetry slam,but I thought my poem was dumb and I stayed home cuase of lady problems,hopefully some one saved me a shirt and a flyer with my art on it.

-I no longer have PE,instead its math.

-Making a new AMV for the group I'm sadly I only have it 1/2 way done

-Also I think im failing a good 60% of my classes DX

I really wished I had a better username DX

The thing is I'm a Luke fangirl not a Jan one....ok I am XD

well this is my frist post....well enjoy